Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2022 15:54:08 GMT
Franklin R. Jefferson is standing in the middle of a corridor. You can tell that it’s an important building in the political landscape of the United States by its magnolia walls adorned with patriotic paintings of powerful and important historical figures. Between those are plinths on which are set expensive gifts from foreign leaders and dignitaries with bronze plaques stating their origin and the occasion of their presentation.
Frank fits perfectly into the scene, dressed in a perfectly tailored royal blue suit, a crisp white shirt and silver tie. He’s walking towards the camera which itself is constantly backing away to keep him in the centre of shot even when rounding corners. He is adjusting his cufflinks when a very attractive brunette woman in a form fitting blouse and pencil skirt falls into step beside him on his right.
“Congressman Jefferson, the designs for the statue in your honour outside the White House are here. They just need your approval,” she says, handing Frank a folder.
Before he can even take it another beautiful woman dressed similarly to the first falls into step with him on his left as the woman on his right steps away out of shot.
“Congressman, this memo just came through. They want to name the new wing of the children’s hospital after you.”
“That’s excellent, tell them I’m honoured,” he replies as the woman steps away. Still walking Frank goes back to the folder given to him by the first woman while a third woman now falls into step beside him also.
“Mr. Jefferson, the Secretary of Defence is on the line for you. He says he needs your advice.”
“Tell him I’ll call him back,” Frank says without looking up.
“Sir, he called personally.”
“And I’ll call him back personally.”
“Understood Mr. Jefferson.”
No sooner has lady number three stepped away than lady number four falls into step beside him on his left.
“Congressman Jefferson.”
Frank looks up this time and gives the woman a smile. “Please, call me Frank,” he says.
“The organisers of the Miss World Pageant called.”
“Again?”
“Yes, they’re desperate for you to be on the judging panel again this year.”
“I’m a busy man, can’t they find anyone else?”
“They’re insisting that there is no-one else who is such an excellent judge of character as you, Frank, especially when it comes to women.”
“Well, I can’t disagree with them there.”
“Me neither, you did vote for me and then give me this job which I will be eternally grateful for.”
“OK, alright, tell them I’ll do it but they owe me one.”
“I’m sure they’ll agree to that.”
Woman four peels away as woman five comes in from the right. “Your invitation to this year’s MET gala arrived.”
“Throw it in the trash.”
The first man in the scene appears, walking in the opposite direction towards Frank. Not looking where he’s going the man crashes into Frank who doesn’t break stride or even apparently notice that he’s just walked into someone. The man is knocked to the ground throwing the stack of reports he was holding into the air in a comedic fountain of paper. Woman six steps over him to get to Frank’s side.
“Congressman, I have the shortlist of pictures Men’s Health want to use from your cover shoot,” she says, handing him a portfolio.”
“Thank you.”
“And the ones from GQ.” She hands him another portfolio.
“Thanks.”
“And the ones from Forbes.”
Frank takes the third folder without saying anything then reaches his hand out to take another which doesn’t appear. “Is that all?”
“We’re still waiting to hear from Time and People.”
“Chase them up for me. I hate waiting.”
“Yes Congressman.”
Before woman six can get out of shot, woman seven has started to walk beside Frank on his left. “Congressman Jefferson, you received an urgent email from the American Ambassador to Italy.”
“That mook? What does he want?”
“He says that there is a dangerous fire breathing tiger on the loose in Rome.”
“A fire breathing tiger?” Frank asks incredulously.
“Well, it may actually just be doing some kind of trick to make people think that it’s breathing fire.”
“That sounds more likely, and stupid.”
“It may also not actually be a tiger, just a house cat in a mask pretending to be more dangerous than it really is.”
“Now that I can believe.”
“Even so, the ambassador insists that you’re the only one who can deal with it.”
Frank nods and sighs a little, “I’m sure he’s right. OK then, get my jet ready and tell the ambassador that I’ll be right there. I’ll have that stupid tiger dealt with before he knows it.”
---------------------------
Frank woke up.
--------------------------
We open up on the scene of Frank Jefferson standing behind a podium that is utterly covered in microphones. There is a blue curtain backdrop with the APWO logo emblazoned on it. On either side of him are the Star Spangled Banner of the United States and the State flag of the District of Columbia. Flashes are going off the whole time while Frank looks sincerely into the camera, his hands braced firmly against the edges of the podium.
“My fellow Americans. I stand before you today as the bearer of distressing news. A plague has fallen across the fair landscape of the Absolute Power Wrestling Organisation. It is a plague of violence, a plague of darkness, a plague of jealousy, a plague of inadequacy, a plague of poor fashion choice and a plague of edgelordiness hereby unseen before in the early days of this most beloved promotion that we call home.”
“That plague’s name is Eli Buchanan.”
“You see, my very first act upon being elected in a landslide victory to the roster of APWO was to effectively, dominantly and indisputably defeat Eli Buchanan. Mere weeks later, alongside someone who’s name I have already forgotten, I defeated Eli Buchanan and some other woman to eliminate them both from the running for the APWO World Title. This I did not only for myself, but as a public service.”
“I can only barely conceive of the level of grief and outrage that you the people did feel later that same night when Eli Buchanan, overwhelmed by the feelings of failure, physical inadequacy, intellectual inferiority and sexual impotence, that my second dominant victory over him caused, took it upon himself to assault me in an act that’s heinousness is matched only by it’s cowardice and, in the long term, ineffectiveness.”
“Eli Buchanan’s craven attack on me before I and, whatshername, were set to beat, those other guys, may have had the intended effect of costing me the chance to become the first ever AWPO World Champion, but as you can see, has caused me no long term physical ailments.”
“This is just the start of the good news however, for while it pains me to tell you that Eli Buchanan is still at large, I am also here to tell you that I will be taking charge personally, of the efforts to bring Eli Buchanan to justice. These efforts will begin and end on night one of APWO Absolution, in the great historic city of Rome, Italy on March 24th.”
“In the days following his attack on me Eli Buchanan has made it clear that beyond hurting his own tag team partner, who it is clear has none of the physical constitution, pain tolerance or naturally fire immunity that I do, Eli Buchanan has no qualms about who he hurts. It is clear that, while a negligible threat to anybody within the confines of a sanctioned wrestling match, Eli Buchanan’s willingness to make unprovoked and illegal assaults outside of the ring, with no concern as to the collateral damage of his actions makes him a threat not only to me, but to everyone of the AWPO roster. He is, as his stupid stupid mask suggests, nothing more than a wild animal.”
“That is why I requested of Emiliano Hernan, CEO of APWO and a man who holds me in the absolute highest of regards, that I be given the chance to face Eli Buchanan in a steel cage. This request was, of course, granted. If Eli Buchanan wishes to comport himself like a wild animal, he will find that he will be treated like one as well. Then, once he is contained in such a way that he can not threaten any members of the APWO ringside staff or our beloved fans I will step into that cage and assert both my will and physical dominance in such a way that the animal will be tamed and will not longer pose a threat to public safety.”
“While I understand that, once confined to a ring, the danger of facing Eli Buchanan is greatly reduced, it can not be neglected that there are still dangers present in this course of action. I may accidently trip on a loose wire someone has left across the ramp during my entrance or perhaps, should Buchenen be more stubborn than previous experience suggests him to be, I may be late for a date I have already arranged for later in the evening. Even so, these are risks I am willing to take in service to you, the people. They are far lesser risks than those I took fighting for our freedom as part of this nation’s military. I would also like to take this moment to say thanks to all the proud servicemen and women currently serving in all branches of the United States military, protecting our freedoms both at home and abroad.”
“I did not ask for any reward for committing to this act. I believe that the defeat of evil is its own reward. Even so, Emiliano Hernan, who I repeat holds me in the absolute highest of respect, insisted that once I have dealt with Eli Buchanan and his unacceptable public behaviour I will be named the Number One Contender to the APWO World Title and will be guaranteed a match against whichever of the three men manages to become the first APWO World Champion my absence. These terms I agreed upon as such is only fair that my goal of becoming your World Champion not be derailed by the childish, tantrum-esque actions of the weakling Eli Buchanan any longer than is absolutely necessary.”
“Therefore, I invite you all to tune in on March 23rd to APWO Absolution, live on Pay-Per-View, to see me, The Conqueror of Capitol Hill, Franklin Jefferson, not only defeat the mewling coward Eli Buchanan, but save the APWO roster from his ineffectual ravages, save both this company and its fans from having to see him challenge for any kind of title for the foreseeable future and secure my own place one again on the path to becoming the APWO World Champion.”
“My name is Franklin Jefferson and I approve this message.”
Frank fits perfectly into the scene, dressed in a perfectly tailored royal blue suit, a crisp white shirt and silver tie. He’s walking towards the camera which itself is constantly backing away to keep him in the centre of shot even when rounding corners. He is adjusting his cufflinks when a very attractive brunette woman in a form fitting blouse and pencil skirt falls into step beside him on his right.
“Congressman Jefferson, the designs for the statue in your honour outside the White House are here. They just need your approval,” she says, handing Frank a folder.
Before he can even take it another beautiful woman dressed similarly to the first falls into step with him on his left as the woman on his right steps away out of shot.
“Congressman, this memo just came through. They want to name the new wing of the children’s hospital after you.”
“That’s excellent, tell them I’m honoured,” he replies as the woman steps away. Still walking Frank goes back to the folder given to him by the first woman while a third woman now falls into step beside him also.
“Mr. Jefferson, the Secretary of Defence is on the line for you. He says he needs your advice.”
“Tell him I’ll call him back,” Frank says without looking up.
“Sir, he called personally.”
“And I’ll call him back personally.”
“Understood Mr. Jefferson.”
No sooner has lady number three stepped away than lady number four falls into step beside him on his left.
“Congressman Jefferson.”
Frank looks up this time and gives the woman a smile. “Please, call me Frank,” he says.
“The organisers of the Miss World Pageant called.”
“Again?”
“Yes, they’re desperate for you to be on the judging panel again this year.”
“I’m a busy man, can’t they find anyone else?”
“They’re insisting that there is no-one else who is such an excellent judge of character as you, Frank, especially when it comes to women.”
“Well, I can’t disagree with them there.”
“Me neither, you did vote for me and then give me this job which I will be eternally grateful for.”
“OK, alright, tell them I’ll do it but they owe me one.”
“I’m sure they’ll agree to that.”
Woman four peels away as woman five comes in from the right. “Your invitation to this year’s MET gala arrived.”
“Throw it in the trash.”
The first man in the scene appears, walking in the opposite direction towards Frank. Not looking where he’s going the man crashes into Frank who doesn’t break stride or even apparently notice that he’s just walked into someone. The man is knocked to the ground throwing the stack of reports he was holding into the air in a comedic fountain of paper. Woman six steps over him to get to Frank’s side.
“Congressman, I have the shortlist of pictures Men’s Health want to use from your cover shoot,” she says, handing him a portfolio.”
“Thank you.”
“And the ones from GQ.” She hands him another portfolio.
“Thanks.”
“And the ones from Forbes.”
Frank takes the third folder without saying anything then reaches his hand out to take another which doesn’t appear. “Is that all?”
“We’re still waiting to hear from Time and People.”
“Chase them up for me. I hate waiting.”
“Yes Congressman.”
Before woman six can get out of shot, woman seven has started to walk beside Frank on his left. “Congressman Jefferson, you received an urgent email from the American Ambassador to Italy.”
“That mook? What does he want?”
“He says that there is a dangerous fire breathing tiger on the loose in Rome.”
“A fire breathing tiger?” Frank asks incredulously.
“Well, it may actually just be doing some kind of trick to make people think that it’s breathing fire.”
“That sounds more likely, and stupid.”
“It may also not actually be a tiger, just a house cat in a mask pretending to be more dangerous than it really is.”
“Now that I can believe.”
“Even so, the ambassador insists that you’re the only one who can deal with it.”
Frank nods and sighs a little, “I’m sure he’s right. OK then, get my jet ready and tell the ambassador that I’ll be right there. I’ll have that stupid tiger dealt with before he knows it.”
---------------------------
Frank woke up.
--------------------------
We open up on the scene of Frank Jefferson standing behind a podium that is utterly covered in microphones. There is a blue curtain backdrop with the APWO logo emblazoned on it. On either side of him are the Star Spangled Banner of the United States and the State flag of the District of Columbia. Flashes are going off the whole time while Frank looks sincerely into the camera, his hands braced firmly against the edges of the podium.
“My fellow Americans. I stand before you today as the bearer of distressing news. A plague has fallen across the fair landscape of the Absolute Power Wrestling Organisation. It is a plague of violence, a plague of darkness, a plague of jealousy, a plague of inadequacy, a plague of poor fashion choice and a plague of edgelordiness hereby unseen before in the early days of this most beloved promotion that we call home.”
“That plague’s name is Eli Buchanan.”
“You see, my very first act upon being elected in a landslide victory to the roster of APWO was to effectively, dominantly and indisputably defeat Eli Buchanan. Mere weeks later, alongside someone who’s name I have already forgotten, I defeated Eli Buchanan and some other woman to eliminate them both from the running for the APWO World Title. This I did not only for myself, but as a public service.”
“I can only barely conceive of the level of grief and outrage that you the people did feel later that same night when Eli Buchanan, overwhelmed by the feelings of failure, physical inadequacy, intellectual inferiority and sexual impotence, that my second dominant victory over him caused, took it upon himself to assault me in an act that’s heinousness is matched only by it’s cowardice and, in the long term, ineffectiveness.”
“Eli Buchanan’s craven attack on me before I and, whatshername, were set to beat, those other guys, may have had the intended effect of costing me the chance to become the first ever AWPO World Champion, but as you can see, has caused me no long term physical ailments.”
“This is just the start of the good news however, for while it pains me to tell you that Eli Buchanan is still at large, I am also here to tell you that I will be taking charge personally, of the efforts to bring Eli Buchanan to justice. These efforts will begin and end on night one of APWO Absolution, in the great historic city of Rome, Italy on March 24th.”
“In the days following his attack on me Eli Buchanan has made it clear that beyond hurting his own tag team partner, who it is clear has none of the physical constitution, pain tolerance or naturally fire immunity that I do, Eli Buchanan has no qualms about who he hurts. It is clear that, while a negligible threat to anybody within the confines of a sanctioned wrestling match, Eli Buchanan’s willingness to make unprovoked and illegal assaults outside of the ring, with no concern as to the collateral damage of his actions makes him a threat not only to me, but to everyone of the AWPO roster. He is, as his stupid stupid mask suggests, nothing more than a wild animal.”
“That is why I requested of Emiliano Hernan, CEO of APWO and a man who holds me in the absolute highest of regards, that I be given the chance to face Eli Buchanan in a steel cage. This request was, of course, granted. If Eli Buchanan wishes to comport himself like a wild animal, he will find that he will be treated like one as well. Then, once he is contained in such a way that he can not threaten any members of the APWO ringside staff or our beloved fans I will step into that cage and assert both my will and physical dominance in such a way that the animal will be tamed and will not longer pose a threat to public safety.”
“While I understand that, once confined to a ring, the danger of facing Eli Buchanan is greatly reduced, it can not be neglected that there are still dangers present in this course of action. I may accidently trip on a loose wire someone has left across the ramp during my entrance or perhaps, should Buchenen be more stubborn than previous experience suggests him to be, I may be late for a date I have already arranged for later in the evening. Even so, these are risks I am willing to take in service to you, the people. They are far lesser risks than those I took fighting for our freedom as part of this nation’s military. I would also like to take this moment to say thanks to all the proud servicemen and women currently serving in all branches of the United States military, protecting our freedoms both at home and abroad.”
“I did not ask for any reward for committing to this act. I believe that the defeat of evil is its own reward. Even so, Emiliano Hernan, who I repeat holds me in the absolute highest of respect, insisted that once I have dealt with Eli Buchanan and his unacceptable public behaviour I will be named the Number One Contender to the APWO World Title and will be guaranteed a match against whichever of the three men manages to become the first APWO World Champion my absence. These terms I agreed upon as such is only fair that my goal of becoming your World Champion not be derailed by the childish, tantrum-esque actions of the weakling Eli Buchanan any longer than is absolutely necessary.”
“Therefore, I invite you all to tune in on March 23rd to APWO Absolution, live on Pay-Per-View, to see me, The Conqueror of Capitol Hill, Franklin Jefferson, not only defeat the mewling coward Eli Buchanan, but save the APWO roster from his ineffectual ravages, save both this company and its fans from having to see him challenge for any kind of title for the foreseeable future and secure my own place one again on the path to becoming the APWO World Champion.”
“My name is Franklin Jefferson and I approve this message.”